Cry for the Moon
by ThouShaltNotScream
Summary: Hinata is slightly insane. And she knows it. Hinata thinks about leaving for good, and deals with things... In an angsty fashion, of course.


:WARNING: Hinata. Violent emotions. Rape. Not graphic.

_italics_- her thoughts  
**bold**- Lyrics

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they belong to the world of Naruto. I don't own the Song, that belongs to Epica.

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**Follow your common sense  
You cannot hide yourself  
Behind a fairytale forever and ever  
Only by revealing the whole truth can we disclose  
The soul of this bulwark forever and ever  
Forever and ever **

She thought that maybe, Itachi had been right. In this charade of happiness and incompetence _foolery, all of it_ she had managed to almost convince herself. Although her brain screamed for her to show how she was not weak, not a liability _a worthy heir, one that could beat Neji and her father, one that wasn't worse than her little sister_ her heart, what little remained, was beating in a manner that indicated that she didn't care. What used to make her smile, although in mockery of true contentment _like the sight of naruto's sunny blonde hair, or the dawn, or her mother's picture_ now made her feel like she was on a roller coaster of emotions _no I don't hate you, of course I like it, why would you think that? _After all, that stupid ex-fiancé of hers _Itachi Itachi why didn't you kill me when you left the note _was annoyingly smart in some things. They may say he was an emotionless block of ice, but he had been the one who understood how she felt _Hinata why did you listen maybe you would be better off as the prodigy you truly are, not hiding your skills. _Perhaps she should… leave. Yes, that was an idea worthy of consideration. But for now she had a mission with her two teammates _who likes dogs and bugs anyways_ and she'd have to pretend _again _that there was no easy way to simply kill the target then leave _not like they'd listen to her anyways._

**Indoctrinated minds so very often  
Contain sick thoughts  
And commit most of the evil they preach against **

Annoyances. If she had to needlessly stutter _incomprehension _once more and fake turning tomato-red every time she saw Naruto who was obviously in love _such a stupid word_ with Sasuke and pretend to be shy and quiet, she would go mad _not that she wasn't already._ Perhaps that idea she had, leaving, _yes! Get me out of this stagnant cesspool of idiocy! _should be put into practice. All she really had to do was disappear. What had the Hokage said about that new degree for missing nins? If they had done no harm _though she would really like to injure a few people before she left_ then the name would go down as a missing nin, and no hunter nins would be sent after them _that's good, because though she's strong sge's not that strong_ and Hinata could finally LEAVE.

**Don****'****t try to convince me with messages from God  
You accuse us of sins committed by yourselves  
It****'****s easy to condemn without looking in the mirror  
Behind the scenes opens reality**

She had to go to an assembly for all the shinobi on the active list _though she wasn't going to be on that list much longer_ where they talked about how it was all for the best of the village, and how the village was home_ but not for her never for her_ and that they_ not 'we' anymore, not now that she had decided to leave_ were still the strongest village. Hypocrites, the lot of them. Who cared if they were the best, only survival mattered. She decided that she would leave in a week. That gave her enough time to gather supplies and other necessities she needed _she could leave right now but she wanted that new Icha Icha book that was coming in-they would all be so surprised, sweet hinata-chan reading such a dirty book_ but it wasn't dirty, in it at least she could pretend she was happy_ you're fooling yourself you're not happy, not anymore_ anyways, once she had that she would be going.

**Eternal silence cries out for justice  
Forgiveness is not for sale  
Nor is the will to forget **

She hated him _hate hates hated hater_. Because of him she was lonely and longed for a different place _better place safe place friendly place discreet place_ where all the monsters would _leave her alone_ but not all monsters were tangible and if they could disappear _just go away far away_ then she wouldn't be so lonesome and so aware of her own existence _mortality all things die even humans especially humans_. She can't forget _won't forget must remember forever and ever_ that he was the reason she left _but not the only reason she had her own reasons too_ and maybe she should find him, just to see him then go away _no! stay away stay away from him he's a monster too but he's like me_ but either way she can't _won't shan't ever_ forgive him _even thought they math on the insides they're monsters_ no she won't.

**Virginity has been stolen at very young ages  
And the extinguisher loses its immunity  
Morbid abuse of power in the garden of Eden  
Where the apple gets a youthful face**

Stupid man how could he _how DARE he_ take it from her? The only thing she had that was HERS _hers her own not his never his never anyone's but hers _and he took it. She was angry, for the first time in a while _not since ever has she been angry can't be angry or she'll lose control_ and her control is slipping _oh no need that come back come back_ and all she's worked for _freedom justice herself_ is going up in flames and she can't stop it _put it out_ and she should be scared _terrified afraid_ but she's not she's exhilarated _excited keyed up energized_ and she know she's going to do something that she'll regret _take it back_ but she doesn't care. She would find him one day and kill him because it was HERS _not his never his hers hinatas_ and maybe she'd feel like she got it back. She learns a way to track anyone, never mind that it's forbidden _she doesn't live in a village anyways and it's her life to spend_ and uses it.

**You can****'****t go on hiding yourself  
Behind old fashioned fairytales  
And keep washing your hands in innocence**

She thought that it would be easy finding him and harder killing him _destroying him may his non-existent soul go to hell_ but it was the other way around. Finding him and going there took almost a year, what with all the false _but not false nothing's a lie nothing's a truth_ trails he laid around the five great countries. She went, she saw, she eradicated_ erased_. Itachi _who hurt her who saved her _who taught her how to hide was gone. She thinks she should feel something but she doesn't she never does _not anymore once a long time ago she did but not now not anymore not ever again _and what would she do know? She's curious about the state of her _not family _relatives and she goes back to Kohona. It was a stupid idea _dumb how could she have miscalculated so badly?_ But she did it anyway. She said goodbye _never see you again, _and never looked back from her death. Hinata was no more.

Cry for the moon, it won't reach you soon, but that's fine in this pathetic world of mine.

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The underlined ending is mine. Mine, i tell you!

I don't like the last paragraph. Don't like it.

Yeah, so… I have no idea where this came from. I think I originally intended it to be a suicide fic. For… Iruka? I don't know. In fact, I'm not altogether sure why Itachi is in here. But really… Itachi was the Uchihas' heir, Hinata the Hyuugas. Betrothal, anyone? Yes, I know that is defiantly not cannon, but who wants to but Hinata with Naruto when he's with Sasuke, and Shino and Kiba are most definitely together too. The other option was Neji, and that (although incest) is kinda cute, but i didn'y feel like writing that.

But really. The girl kicks butt. And could be hiding anything under that exterior of hers… angst, anger, psychoness… all make wonderful plot bunnies. And they just won't leave me alone…

Yeah, this was never intended to make a lot of sense. I think I need to start writing some Hetalia fics. Wars make suitably interesting plot bunnies, and History seems to stick in my mind better if I perhaps write fics using imaginary characters… ^-^ Suggestions are welcome. I will write them, I just might take a long time doing so.

Reviews?


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